Taking the Enterprise to search for Xenu

Now this presents a dilema. I made the statement a wihle ago that I had no desire to watch another Tom Cruise movie. So what do I do if he winds up in the next "Star Trek" film?

SciFi Wire reports that "Trek XI" producer/director J.J. Abrams is hoping to get his "Mission: Impossible III" star to make a cameo as Capt. Christopher Pike.

Cruise earned a reputation as a Scientology nut, alienating a lot fans and Paramount honcho Sumner Redstone in the process. Obviously, he still has enough fans to be a bankable movie star, but I'm not one of them. What about Redstone? Has he had a change of heart?

More Cruise vs. 'South Park' news

A follow up to Friday’s post about Tom Cruise vs. “South Park”—here’s the official statement from “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone released Friday through their lawyer:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu

For those unfamiliar, Scientologists who have reached the highest level of their church’s teachings are taught, among other things, that human beings are possessed by the souls of dead aliens banished to Earth by a galactic tyrant named Xenu.

Hey, it was a religion founded by science fiction writer after all.

Tom Cruise doesn't want you to read this...

Here’s my little way of sticking it to Tom Cruise.

If you haven’t heard, the word is that Tom Cruise threatened to refuse to do any publicity for this summer’s “Mission: Impossible III” unless Comedy Central pulled a scheduled rerun of the “South Park” episode titled “Trapped in the Closet.”

Viacom controls both Paramount and Comedy Central—and apparently Cruise controls Viacom.

The episode lampoons Scientology and subtlety (or maybe not so subtlety) hints that Cruise is a closet homosexual.

Back in January there was a story that Cruise kept the episode off the air in the U.K. It first aired in the United States in November.

This of course comes just days after Scientologist Isaac Hayes, who voiced the character Chef for nearly a decade, quit the show over the episode (conspiracy nuts think Cruise got to him).

The New York Post says “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who had some critical words for Hayes, have been ordered not to discuss the latest incident with Cruise.

So while he might be able to keep the show off the air, he can’t remove it from everywhere. Here’s a link to the entire episode on YouTube (until the agents of Tom Cruise get to them too). You can also find it on Xenu.net.

Man, this guy gets on my nerves. I recognize this means Cruise might not want to promote “M:I III” on this blog. I think I can live with that.