Attack of the ankle-biters

Pack of angry Chihuahuas attack officer in Fremont
This story isn't really that funny or interesting. I just like the phrase "pack of angry Chihuahuas."

'Where did you get this number?'

Jack's Cell Phone: "1-888-9-24-JACK"
If you're a "24" fan, call this number...

Holiday week wrap-up

• I’m back at work today. I put off requesting my vacation time at the end of the year and as a result I had to take what I could get. I was off Monday, worked from home Tuesday and then was off Wednesday. Now I’m working today and again tomorrow, but I’ll have next Monday off.
  
  
• We took the kids to a screening of “The Polar Express” at the Colonie Town Library last night. Nolan and I saw it last year, but it was the first time for Kris and Thomas. They both loved it.
  
  
• I got together with Aaron and his wife Chris last night and we went to visit our friends Marc and Lynn, who were in town staying with his parents. It was great to meet their baby daughter Mara.
  
  
• Besides Thomas the Tank Engine and the Dukes of Hazzard, Star Wars was also big at our house this Christmas. I got episodes III-VI on DVD (well, technically, the original trilogy was a birthday present) and Nolan got a Star Wars coloring book and the very cool “LEGO Star Wars” video game for his new GameCube. The game is pretty simple for young gamers, but still loads of fun for grown ups too. Kris and I even spent an hour playing it after the kids went to bed one night.
  
  
• I really enjoyed the special Doctor Who episode “The Christmas Invasion.” That had it all going on—humor, drama, action, suspense and some pretty decent FX. The dialogue was also very good, with about three episodes worth of memorable lines packed into one story. I also like the new Doctor, David Tennant. I thought Christopher Eccelston would be big shoes to fill, but after one episode Tennant has me hooked. Can’t wait for the new season to start in the spring.
  
  
• Just before Christmas I finished reading “The Tender Bar.” That was a fantastic book! What was really cool was that after finishing it I went to the computer and googled the author. I quickly found a recent podcast made of a discussion he led about the book during an appearance at a Denver book store. I also found an e-mail address to write to him and tell him how much I liked his book. Gotta love the Internet!

The Dukes of Albany

We’re enjoying our Christmas vacation. Today we took Nolan, Thomas and Nolan’s friend Danny to Albany Dodge to see the “General Lee” sitting in their showroom.

Actually, it was a 2005 Dodge Charger painted to look like the General. The real General Lee was a ’69 Charger.

The boys thought it was really cool.

I didn’t check to see if the doors would open. I’m sure they would have—and that would spoil the illusion!

I’m sure the boys also would have loved to climb through the open windows, but I’m not so sure the people at the dealership would have liked that.

Thanks to Noah for tipping us off that the car was there!

Christmas Morning

More, hopefully including some videos, to come later...

Calvin & the Snowmen, part 4

'You'll shoot your eye out!'

We’re marking another holiday tradition tonight—watching the modern classic “A Christmas Story.” It’s on TCM right now.

Yeah, I know, it will be on for 24 hours on Christmas Day and I’ll probably wind up watching bits and pieces of it again. But I just can’t help it. If it’s on, I have to watch!

I first saw this movie in the theater in 1983 at Dan Markiewicz’s birthday party and have loved it ever since. But it’s funny how I see the movie in a new light now. Kris and I are watching it and find ourselves identifying much more with the parents now.

By the way, I read the book version of “A Christmas Story” last year. My sister had given it to me for my birthday. If you love the movie, then I highly recommend you pick up the book. It was originally titled “In God We Turst: All Others Pay Cash.” It’s a collection of short stories by Jean Sheperd that collectively make up the storylines in the movie.

A Christmas Carol

We were treated to some sounds of the season tonight in our very own home. Our neighbor Mike, a teacher at Van Antwerp Middle School (and owner of Chester’s buddy Winthrop) brought some students by to sing Christmas carols.

They were raising money for the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

It was nice to share some holiday cheer and help a good cause.

Paying last respects

I attended a wake last night for an old family friend—Sharon Brazell.

The Brazells were neighbors when I was young and they had two daughters my age. Brigid was in the same grade as me and Kelly was a year older. We started off going to St. Helen’s School together.

Eventually my parents moved me into public school, but I would still see the girls around the playground near our house. In time the Brazells moved out of the neighborhood, but our families would still see each other at various Christmas parties and backyard barbecues.

After a while our families drifted apart. Except for bumping into Brigid a couple of times in the first few years after college, I couldn’t tell you when the last time was that I saw any of the Brazells.

Nonetheless, I really felt I should go last night. It was a little strange seeing them. In my mind I always picture the Brazell girls as little kids. By the time we were teenagers they had moved and we were only seeing each other once or twice a year. So I never really got used to seeing them grown up.

And yet now here we are—full grown adults with our own families. I’m glad I was able to see them, albeit under such rotten circumstances. I enjoyed talking to these old childhood friends and felt bad for all of the years that have past without any contact with them.

I went to the wake by myself after work. My mom and my sister had already gone earlier. Afterward mom called me up and said she was proud of me for going. She said I was “good about going to wakes.”

The truth is I hate wakes. I don’t think I’ve ever been to one that I didn’t feel awkward and uncomfortable at (except, strangely enough, maybe my own father’s).

But I remember my father’s wake and how grateful I was for everyone who came. I remember all of the people from my life who showed up—friends old and new, my boss, a co-worker I hardly knew—and how much it meant to me. That’s why I suck it up and go to these things. It made me feel so good to see all of these people turn out for my father and I hope that I can make others feel good too.

Grandma's revenge?

Those are caribous -- not Santa's reindeer -- hanging outside store

MORAVIA, N.Y. (AP) - Children in an upstate town can rest easy. Despite the rumors, those aren't Santa's reindeer hanging outside a local hardware store.

That rumor -- likely started by older kids -- made the rounds in the Finger Lakes town of Moravia after hardware store owner Phil Franklin and some friends returned from their annual hunting trip to Quebec, where they bagged ten caribous.

Before the carcasses are processed for meat, Franklin hangs his kills in front of his business in the neighboring town of Locke. That sparked rumors at the elementary school in Moravia that the carcasses were those of the reindeer who pull Santa's sleigh.

Franklin says for someone driving past his store, the animals can be mistaken for reindeer. So he understands how children could mistake them for Santa's herd -- especially if an older kid is telling them so.

One of his hunting partners says parents have been helping squelch the rumors by telling kids the animals are caribou from Canada and not Santa's reindeer.

(Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)

Calvin & the Snowmen, part 3

More on the Damon deal

I was going to put this in comments, in response to Aaron mentioning that his Yankee fan co-workers are upset about the Damon deal, but I decided to put it out here for all to see instead.

He said his co-workers hate this deal and are quieter than they were the day after the Yanks blew the 2004 ALCS (which Damon’s two-run homer and grand slam played a big part in). I find that very hard to believe. There is no hot stove move that could be more upsetting to a fan than seeing your team blow a four-game lead in a best of seven LCS.

I wouldn't say I hate the deal. I'm not surprised by it that much—it was clear Johnny and George were interested in each other a year ago. The key was getting the number of years he’d agree to down to the right number. Damon wanted seven years, and there is no way he’s worth that to anyone. Four years is a little more reasonable.

Also, the deal includes only a partial no-trade clause. We don’t know which teams are included, but it’s not an absolute no-trade. So it’s possible Damon could be traded if he has his problems.

And that’s possible. I’ve read a few quotes from Damon and I’m not thrilled with some of what I’ve heard. It sounds like he’s bringing a rather large ego with him to the Bronx. Quotes like this:

"They haven't had a championship since Chuck Knoblauch was there when they had a great leadoff hitter," Damon said. "I think the leadoff role has been under-appreciated. A good leadoff hitter is tough to find and I think New York just found the best leadoff hitter in the game."

I wonder how that attitude will play in the clubhouse. But, like Aaron, I’m not worried. All it takes is a couple of bad outings and some run-ins with the New York media to bring about an attitude change (remember Randy Johnson’s encounter with a WCBS photographer?).

I think this is an exciting move that will make my favorite sport fun to watch come spring.

Okay, now that's more than enough for now about Johnny Damon. Comment all you like, but I'm ready to move on to other things today.

Manny Christmas

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Happy Holidays
While we're on the subject of the Red Sox, ESPN.com's Page 2 today features some Christmas cards from various figures in the world of sports, including this one from Manny Ramirez to John Henry...

Inside the card it says:

Merry Christmas, Mr. Henry!
I love ya? No I don't! Yes, I do! No, no I don't!

Love, Manny
No. 25 No. 24

Calvin & the Snowmen, part 2

DAMoN YANKEES

For Sox, a little off the top - The Boston Globe
In response to Aaron's "no worries here" comment (and at the risk of setting off a firestorm of more comments) here are some choice excerpts from Dan Shaughnessy's column in this morning's Boston Globe, which echo similar sentiments from Erik Kuselias and Buster Olney on ESPN Radio...

No way around this one. Johnny Damon is a Yankee and it looks like the Red Sox don't know what they are doing. Time for Ben Cherington and Jed Hoyer to say hello to Lou Gorman and Dan Duquette.

And also...

So now your Boston Red Sox have no center fielder, no shortstop, and no first baseman to go along with no Theo Epstein and no clue. It's fair to say this is becoming a winter of discontent in Red Sox Nation. Ben and Jed and Craig and Larry and Tom and John and Crosby, Stills & Nash can spin this anyway they want, but Sox fans can't escape the conclusion that there's chaos at the top. The Josh Beckett trade bought some goodwill and glad tidings, but losing Damon to the Yankees is a devastating blow to the foundation of the Nation.

And he saved the best part for last...

Bottom line: The Yankees just got better and more interesting, and the Red Sox just got worse and more boring. And a Nation is certain to wonder if this would have happened if Theo were still on the job.

You may commence spinning...

Heeere's Johnny!

ESPN.com - MLB - Olney: Johnny on the spot
Anybody know the name of a good barber in New York City? Johnny Damon will need one before he puts on his pinstripes!

The Yanks signed the former BoSox center fielder to a four-year deal worth $52 million.

Four years...that's not too bad. Damon was asking for seven years, which would not have been worth it.

He will likely be the starting center fielder and lead off hitter.

I guess I'll have to take down the chart hanging on the wall in my office that compare's Damon to a neanderthal. Maybe I'll wait to make sure he doesn't stink, then I'll get rid of it.

UPDATE: The signing of Damon puts a big question mark over the future of longtime Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams. ESPN's Buster Olney was on ESPN Radio this morning reporting that the Yankees will sign Bernie to a one-year $1.5 million deal to keep him around as a bench player.

Meanwhile, Sports Bash host Erik Kuselias, who was filling in on the Mike & Mike show, called the Damon move the biggest defection in the greatest sports rivalry since Babe Ruth (he wouldn't count Roger Clemens, who spent two years in Toronto before arriving in the Bronx).

He also called Damon's upcoming trim "the most famous haircut in sports history" (Kuselias is a devout Red Sox fan). I, of course, have been known in the past to refer to Damon as "Captain Hairdo."

You may now take up valuable bandwidth with your comments...

Christmas cookies

After stating that I often disregard forwarded e-mails, um, well, here's another I got today from another co-worker...

Christmas Cookie Recipe

• 1 cup of water
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 cup of brown sugar
• Lemon juice
• 4 large eggs
• 1 cup nuts
• 2 cups of dried fruit
• 1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take out a large bowl.

Check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still okay. Try another cup...just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Jose Cuervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS

Calvin & the Snowmen, part 1

I usually disregard many forwarded joke e-mails. But a co-worker passed along one containing a number of Calvin and Hobbes strips depicting the "creative" snowmen Calvin would build in his front yard.

So I figured I'd periodically share some of them with you this winter—unless I find out all of you have received these in your e-mail too...or until Universal Press Syndicate shuts me down...

Kim Bauer, children's TV host

We went to the library on Saturday and everybody got a video to bring home.

Nolan picked up a DVD containing four episodes of the TV show “Popular Mechanics for Kids.” The shows spotlighted the inner workings and behind the scenes action of roller coasters, the circus and other such things. He liked it a lot. We plan to get more of these DVDs on future library trips.

The shows are about six or seven years old. They’re Canadian-produced and apparently still air on Discovery Kids in Canada.

It was hosted by two kids—a boy and a girl—who couldn’t have been more than 16 years old. The girl, who introduced herself as “Alicia,” looked very familiar, but I couldn’t quite place her. That is until I saw the closing credits and realized her name wasn’t Alicia, but rather Elisha—as in Elisha Cuthbert of “24” and such movies as “The Girl Next Door.”

It was pretty bizarre seeing a much younger Kim Bauer hosting a kids’ show. And to answer your question, no, there were no mountain lions lurking about and she made it through all four episodes without getting kidnapped (if you're not a “24” fan, then forget it—this is lost on you).

Peter, you're home...again

Argh!!! I can never escape the holiday season without seeing that annoying Folger's Coffee commercial where the college kid comes home and wakes his parents with the delicious aroma of fresh-brewed Folger's Coffee. I just saw it now on MSNBC.

I know I ranted about it last year. Now it's back.

How old is this commercial? It has to be at least 20 years old.

Am I the only one who can't stand this ad? Even when I was a kid I found it overly sappy. I did a quick Google search on the ad to see if I could find a picture from it to use with this post, but instead all I found were people reminiscing about their fond memories of Peter and the Folger's Christmas commercial.

I guess I'm just a Scrooge.